After not getting out of the house much the past few weeks due to Hayden Seemingly getting every viral illness under the sun!, I was starting to go a bit stir crazy, my only face to Face conversation with another adult being Mike. So I couldn’t wait to meet up with some fellow mummy friends for a baby-free afternoon tea last Sunday afternoon.
It has been a while since we have all managed to meet up due to one thing and another, but it was truly lovely and sanity restoring in full. As I was driving home afterwards I was reflecting about the importance of having fellow mummy friends in my life, my conclusion being that having mummy friends in your life was essential to not only your happiness but also your sanity.
When I was pregnant with Hayden, we didn’t end up signing up for NCT classes in the end due to the cost as we were in the process of moving house. I had a few friends within Bristol who had young children, who were a fountain of knowledge and support throughout my pregnancy (and since). I started going to a nearby antenatal yoga class as I was struggling with migraines and my hips and thought it might help. This class was great, and fortuitously there were a group of 8-9 of us that all were due around the same time, so we have naturally formed a friendship group.
Having this group of friends, with babies born at the same time has been life-saving for me. Being on maternity leave with a baby and stuck in the house can be an extremely lonely at times, as much as you treasure your mummy time with your baby, not having that adult conversation and company can send you round the bend. I know for me, that I love talking and having a chat, and if I have been on my own all day with Hayden by the time Mike comes home I’m ready to explode and tend to go on and on at him about every tiny thing that Hayden’s done that day, however mundane and boring! (E.g. How many nappy changes he had and the consistency/colour of his latest poo). The problem with this being that Mike has been talking at work all day and complains that when he gets home, he’s tired and just wants a bit of quiet time!
We have a Facebook messenger group so we can chat to each other. It’s great to have the support and discussion with other mums especially with mums whose babies are the same age, as they are all going through similar things at similar times. We frequently have conversations starting with ‘Hayden has started doing this now, is this normal?’ And inevitably find that other babies in the group are just the same, so reassuring. All but one of us were first time mums too, and I personally had no idea about babies, what’s normal etc, but together we have worked it out! Knowing that people are there for you when you are having a really shit day, not only that but that they truly understand what you’re going through, has been a huge help. It’s great for the babies too to have playmates when we meet for coffee and cake. Having a group of friends with babies close by encourages you to get out and about and see other people, as I think it’s all too easy to find yourself stuck in a rut at home with the baby!
This post was really to say thank you to all my mummy friends who have kept me sane throughout the last year! I couldn’t have done it without you, and I feel very lucky to have you all in mine and Hayden’s life! And my advice to any expecting mummies is to find some mummy friends whether that be through NCT, yoga, other mummy and baby groups or through social media mummy blogging. Yes making new friends as an adult can sometimes seem awkward and tiresome but trust me, put yourself out there, make the effort and you won’t regret it, in fact you’ll probably find some friends for life!