Tantrums and chocolate cake

After my elation on Sunday that we were finally all on the mend and feeling better after weeks of ongoing viral illnesses, I had high hopes for my day with Hayden on Monday. That was a mistake. Of epic proportions. 

After a very disturbed nights sleep with Hayden waking up every 2 hours and needing at least 30 minutes of shushing and soothing each time, The day started at 6am when Hayden decided he was ready to get up, early but not unreasonable I thought. We then sat down to have our breakfast- fruit and porridge, which promptly ended up all over the floor. 

I had my midwife appointment at 9.30am, which Hayden spent the entire time whining and literally throwing his toys out the pram whilst I tried to have a conversation with the midwife- not fun! 

We then made our way to Tesco to catch the last of the baby event so I could stock up on new baby essentials, by the time we arrived Hayden was fast asleep so I delicately transferred him to the pram so he could continue to sleep. This was fine except meant that I had to try and fit all the shopping and nappies under the pram and in a basket whilst I waddled around, resembling a large waddling sweaty pack  horse. 

Thankfully Hayden remained asleep throughout Tesco so I had a break from the incessant whinging, so I decided as still asleep to go to Mothercare for a browse as it was just across the road. Whilst in mothercare (Hayden still asleep at this point) I began to feel a bit lightheaded and faint so thought I would sit in the cafe there and get a bite to eat. 

I had finished my panini and just ordered some coffee and a slice of the chocolate cake, thinking how nice it was to be out and about, reminding me of when Hayden was younger and he would sleep in the pram and I’d go for coffee all the time! (Those were the days!) Then he woke up. Needless to say he was not a happy bunny, waking up sweaty, disorientated and starving. I quickly got him out of the pram, gave him a quick cuddle, plonked him in the high chair with his beaker and ordered him a kids lunchbox. 

He ate half a babybel cheese and then decided that instead he wanted my cake! I tried to explain to him that he had to eat his other lunch first and then I would give him some cake but he either didn’t understand this or didn’t like it and started crying/screaming/thrashing around/ chucking food on the floor, creating a bit of a scene. I have to confess I haven’t really had this before when we’ve been out, and I was mortified, everyone staring at me and judging me, I’ll admit on such little sleep and energy reserve I couldn’t handle it. At all. After several minutes of trying and failing to calm him down I gave in and gave him cake.

I know it’s terrible, and I know people will say I’m creating a rod for my own back etc and their probably right but at that moment I just needed him to stop having a tantrum and eat something, anything! I have to say I’m surprised by how young this behaviour has started I didn’t think he would start being so demanding, tantrum and toddler like until at least 18 months! And the difficult thing is I find how to discipline him, does he even understand yet? Is he too young to reason with? The food throwing or spitting it out is quite an issue at the moment, and I have been telling him off but I’ve also been reluctant to take food away from him as he has lost a bit of weight since being ill and I just feel so mean. It’s not just that he’s doing that either but the way he’s doing it, the slow very deliberate way he holds spaghetti or whatever in his hand hoovering over the edge of the highchair, pauses to look at you directly when you warn him not to do it, and I smear smirks at you at then drops/throws it anyway. In that moment I think he is a demon child who has been sent to torture me and knows how to press my buttons! 

Needless to say the day didn’t really improve, he was content eating cake until it was finished at which point he started to lose his shit again, and before I lost mine we promptly left and drove home. Dinner time was a repeat of breakfast and I had given up all hope by the time Mike got home and after ranting to him for half an hour about how badly behaved “his son” had been, I left him to do Hayden’s nighttime routine and went to bed dreaming of the bottle of wine that I couldn’t drink (well at least not for s couple more months) 

Apart from the obvious wine or gin therapy, does anyone have any similar experiences to share or tips/advice on how best to deal with these demon like moments/days?  Is so I’d love to hear about it so please comment. 

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3 Comments

  1. Hayden is a lot cleverer than you think Lisa. He is testing you at the moment to see what he can and can’t get away with. It will get better I promise and Hayden will be an angel one minute and a devil the next. Make sure you take some deep breaths and if you are at home when he is testing you just walk away, if he doesn’t get a reaction he will soon get fed up. Good luck!

    1. Thank you for your comments. You are definitely right about walking away and deep breaths, I will try to remember this more often. I just hope it doesn’t take too long to get better! πŸ™‚

  2. Hi Lisa. A few thoughts on public tantrums. It’s instinctive to look towards a crying child and I suspect people aren’t judging so much as remembering when their children put them through similar (and shuddering at the memories). It’s also natural to feel embarrassed at unwanted attention when you just want coffee and cake. Following anon’s advice at home will help (eventually) when out and about.

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